Courage to Change

Table of Contents

The due date for all advertisements, classifieds, stories, or submissions is the 20th of the month preceding publication. The anticipated date for the next issue is March 1998. Address all correspondence to: 2601 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Suite 203, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33306, or fax it to: (954) 566-9040, or e-mail it to: fla-lap@ix.netcom.com. Information concerning advertising rates for Courage to Change may also be obtained from this address. For more information call (954) 566-9040.

Michael Cohen, FLA's Executive Director, is an attorney formerly in practice in Boston, Massachusetts, with over 11 years of sobriety. Michael is also a member of the ABA's Commission on Lawyer Assistance Programs (CoLAP), with responsibility for the Southeast region (Florida, Georgia, Alabama, North and South Carolina, and Tennessee), and is the webmaster for the CoLAP internet pages.

Judy Rushlow, FLA's Assistant Director, is a Ft. Lauderdale attorney with over 10 years of sobriety who previously practiced with Bill Kilby and acted as an instructor at the Broward County DUI Program.

In addition, the people who staff FLA's Ft. Lauderdale office (and who you talk to on the phone) are Roberta Dalton, Eleni Uher, and Jennifer Kenny.

Most importantly, there are almost 300 recovering attorneys, judges, law students, and other interested individuals who volunteer their time and effort to assist FLA in its mission.

Florida Lawyers Assistance, Inc. (FLA) provides programs and services to assist attorneys, judges, law students, and other legal professionals who may be impaired in their ability to function in a legal setting. The backbone of FLA is a support network of recovering attorneys and judges who wish to carry the message to fellow members of their profession that recovery is possible.

FLA concentrates on assisting legal professionals with chemical dependency problems, providing evaluation, assessment and referral services, peer support, aftercare programs, and monitoring services. In addition, FLA engages in preventative services through educational outreach programs, including mailings, literature distribution, and presentations to the judiciary, law schools, law firms, bar associations, bar seminars, and other professional entities.

While FLA's primary emphasis has been on aiding the chemically dependent attorney, it also serves as a clearinghouse and referral source for problems associated with gambling, food, and sexual addictions, as well as those resulting from depression, stress, finances, and other areas that might affect an attorney's ability to competently function in a legal setting.

FLA is not a 12 Step program, although it relies on participation in the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous as the primary resource in an attorney's recovery. Neither is FLA a treatment program, counseling center, employment agency, legal referral center, or employe assistance program, although all of these services can presently be accessed through FLA's resources.

FLA works independently of, but cooperatively with The Florida Bar, the Florida Board of Bar Examiners, the Judicial Qualifications Committee, local bar associations, and the bar at large.

It just keeps getting better.

I have a personal page on the worldwide web at http://www.netcom.com/~fla-lap/mjc.html in which I give away the secret that I love my work and should probably be paying somebody for having this job instead of the other way around. I think I have been incredibly lucky to have been involved with FLA as a client during its formation, as a volunteer during the period in which it achieved recognition by both The Florida Bar and other lawyer assistance programs around the country, and as a staff member during what has probably been the most extraordinary growth period in the organization's history.

In the year since our last issue of Courage to Change (so much for "quarterly" issues - oh well, progress, not perfection) FLA has achieved many of the things that have been on our "wish list" for years and years.

As I said in the last issue, one of the things that became apparent to Judy and me as the result of the Bar's evaluation of FLA was that we had a terrific program that not enough people knew about. With that in mind, we made one of our goals getting the word out about FLA's functions and services, and that effort has paid off. For the first time in FLA's history, we were invited to make presentations at the conferences of district court of appeal, circuit, and county court judges, all of which received us very warmly and from each of which we got positive feedback. We continued to make presentations at all the law schools in the state (including the newly opened school in Orlando), as well as at the new Practicing with Professionalism seminars (formerly the Bridge the Gap program). FLA has also been invited to participate in the professionalism programs being offered to all local county bar members around the state, beginning in February 1998.

The result of these forms of "carrying the message" has been an unprecedented number of voluntary calls to the FLA hotline. For the first time, it seems that judges are availing themselves of FLA's services, and that the only reason they hadn't contacted a lawyer assistance program about attorneys appearing before them in need of help was because they didn't know that one existed. By letting all segments of the Bar, bench, and schools know that a free, confidential assistance program is available, we have gone a long way towards meeting our goal of providing recovery services to any legal professional suffering from a condition which impairs or impedes his or her practice or quality of life.

Our credibility with The Florida Bar and Florida Board of Bar Examiners remains solid. The Bar, through its diversion program, and the Bar Examiners, through their conditional admission process, have clearly acknowledged that chemical dependency and psychological impairments are illnesses to be treated, rather than conditions to be punished.

Judy and I finally were able to get the first series of monitor training seminars up and running. The meetings took place in Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and W. Palm Beach, and were well attended and received. I must acknowledge our gratitude to the Broward County Public Defender's Office and to Hanley-Hazelden at St. Mary's for providing us the excellent meeting areas. We're planning on taking the show "on the road" to Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, Pensacola, and Tallahassee, hopefully during the first quarter of 1998. It is our hope to get as many past and present FLA participants, monitors, and volunteers (and anyone else who may be interested) as possible together to review the monitoring procedure, answer any questions, and go over any gripes that have arisen. The FLA support groups around the state continue to provide assistance to newcomers and oldtimers alike. The meetings in Gainesville/Ocala and Key West which started last year are still going strong, a meeting has started in the Melbourne-Cocoa area, and, as we hoped, the St. Petersburg meeting was restarted. Although the attorney support groups are not a substitute for traditional 12 Step meetings, they often are a newcomer's first contact with the recovering legal community and can become a very important component of an overall recovery program. I cannot properly express FLA's gratitude to those lawyers, judges, and law students who put in the time and effort each week to start and maintain those meetings. It is our hope that beginning with this issue we can bring you "status reports" from some or all of the groups around the state.

Use of FLA's internet page continues to grow month by month; last year, we had over 1750 "hits", and more and more of our contacts are coming through e-mail and internet access. You might also want to check out the ABA Commission on Lawyer Assistance Programs (CoLAP) pages starting at: http://www.abanet.org/cia.home.html.

Speaking of CoLAP, I was honored to be appointed to the Commission by ABA President Jerome Shestack in August of this year. I have responsibility for the Southeast region, which includes Florida, Georgia, Alabma, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Tennessee. The Commission, which is composed of ten members, acts as the coordinator and clearinghouse for information on the lawyer assistance programs (LAP's) throughout the U.S. and Canada. CoLAP's annual workshop took place in September in Washington, D.C. and, as usual, represented a wonderful opportunity for LAP directors and volunteers from around the country to meet each other and exchange information on how their programs are going. Next year's workshop will be held in Montreal.

Bottom line is, this has been a terrific year and, as always, it has been my pleasure and privilege to be occupying the position of Executive Director. For those of you who don't know me, please be assured that I take that function very seriously - if you have a question, a complaint, a suggestion, or just want to talk, please pick up the phone or come into the office. The door remains open.

Michael Cohen

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Anonymous

Ever since I picked up my ten-year medallion in October, my gratitude level has been off the charts. I'm grateful for every day of sobriety and the years seem like miracles - I know that a lot of FLA people feel the same.

Not only am I grateful for my sobriety and the many personal blessings that have come my way, I am eternally grateful to the people in FLA and AA who have given so generously of themselves to help me and others get clean and sober and build a bridge back to life. FLA has so many people who, in a variety of ways, volunteer their time to help other lawyers, judges and bar applicants and enable this program to help so many. On a daily basis, I enlist the help of recovering attorneys throughout the state, and their efforts are truly what FLA is about. On the other hand, sometimes Michael and I are able to provide assistance because we hear of an attorney in need through one of our members, a therapist, another lawyer or judge, or any third party who knows something about the FLA program. In a sense all these people are part of the network and essential to the success of our program. As Michael has mentioned, we miss no opportunity to spread the word about FLA, and will continue to do so, but an active FLA member in a community can tell (and demonstrate) more about the program than any presentation.

My job (which I consider among my greatest gifts) would be impossible without our monitors, volunteers, and other supporters. Whenever we hear from an attorney with problems or about such an attorney, whether it be alcohol or drugs, depression, or other difficulties, we try to do a preliminary assessment, make professional referrals, if necessary, and provide a local contact. Obviously, we don't give out names and numbers unless we have previously been authorized to do so, nor do we reveal the identity of the caller to anyone without similar authorization.

These volunteers can provide information about the nearest support group, direct someone to a local AA or NA meeting, provide information about local resources, and share experience, strength and hope. Sometimes these "connections" lead to the establishment of a new support group and often result in new friendships or professional relationships. Most importantly, everybody reaps the rewards. We do, in fact, keep it by giving it away.

Many of our volunteers have given countless hours of time monitoring, participating in interventions, helping out with practices, and just going to FLA meetings and sharing. Just showing up at an FLA meeting is an act of giving that helps others who need the group support. We still have groups that really need more recovering attorneys for the benefit of the newer members, and there are still areas of the state that don't have a support group within a reasonable distance.

If anybody reading this wants to get involved, please let us know. We are particularly interested in starting support groups in new areas and want to begin providing something similar for attorneys who are not chemically dependent, but who need help in dealing with issues of stress, depression or related problems. We want to increase the number of attorneys we help and expand our services, and we will need, more than ever, the help of our volunteers to do this.

For those who have given so generously, please know how much you are appreciated; and for those who would like to help, rest assured that you are needed. There are some who have gone above and beyond, and I hope you know who you are. We do. Thanks and God bless!

Judy Rushlow

You are about to have the most meaningful relationship you will ever have. That relationship is with yourself. You are about to discover who you really are.
James the Janitor, AA

WHY LAWYERS GET NO RESPECT

By Harvey Schwartz

The following article is reprinted from the September/October 1997 issue of Hope Magazine and the October 1997 issue of The Summation (Escambia-Santa Rosa Bar Association newsletter) with the permission of the author.

My name is Harvey. I'm a lawyer, a trial lawyer. No, this isn't the introduction to a twelve step program. I'm proud of what I do, but I'm saddened by what lawyering has become.

My kids know all the lawyer jokes. They tell me the latest about lawyers crawling under snakes and I smile and moan, but it really doesn't feel very good. I don't like my own kids putting down what I do with my life. I'm proud of being a lawyer. What is most frightening, though, is acknowledging that there is some truth in lawyer jokes.

Maybe we lawyers should accept some of the blame for the public perception that the first place to look for a sharp lawyer is under a damp rock. As an example of how far things have gone astray, let's look at a nursery rhyme from a lawyer's point of view.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty, Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

If you're a lawyer, or, even if you're not, take a moment to reflect on what your first thoughts might be were the Widow Dumpty to show up at your office and recite this tale of woe.

"Must have been a problem with the design and construction of the wall that caused this great fall. We'll need an architectural expert to testify about the poor quality of the mortar holding the bricks together."

"Great fall, huh? You can only have a great fall from a great wall. Just how great was this wall? Sounds like the wall owner is a deep pocket. How do we sue him? Could the Great Wall be an attractive nuisance?"

"What's all this with the King? Might be a sovereign immunity problem. Can we sue the king's men in their individual capacities? When is the deadline for notifying the king about the widow's claim?"

"Horses? What were they doing using horses to put him together again? This could be a med-mal claim. Do we need a veterinary expert?"

"I wonder if Dumpty suffered before he fell to pieces. That could boost the value of this case."

"How much can I make on this case? Will I make more if I keep it, or refer it to somebody in the city?"

Would it enter most lawyers' minds to tell the grieving Mrs. Dumpty that she doesn't need a lawsuit at this time in her life, that she should stop looking to blame others and just admit that she was married to a guy with an eggshell skull who should have known better that to sit on high walls? How much business should a lawyer turn away because he or she thinks the case is silly - even though there is money in it? Or do we find these two concepts to be contradictory, that a case that can make us some money is by definition not silly?

There was a time when lawyers were considered counselors-at-law, wise persons to whom others turned for guidance about difficult problems. Now we are often seen as hired guns who have a license to threaten to do unpleasant things unless our target pays the person who hired us lots of money. Could it be that we are not regarded as respected professionals because we aren't acting like professionals?

Professionals exercise discretion and judgment. A gas station doesn't hire a professional to pump gas. It hires a kid who'll pump the same gas into every car that stops at the pump. If we are to be professionals, we have to do something more than just pump out litigation for every person who shows up at our offices with a tale of woe, money in hand, or a deep-pocket defendant in sight.

I had a long conversation the other day with a lawyer I greatly respect. She was referring a case to me - a man who had been fired by a large corporation. We discussed his situation and she and I concluded that he had no legitimate legal claim. And then this well respected attorney suggested that we write to the corporation's general counsel and propose negotiations about a settlement. "They'll give him something to make him go away." she told me. "They'd rather pay him than pay their big law firm. Let's see what we can get for him." I declined, but I'll freely admit that from time to time I've gotten settlements for clients on some pretty precarious claims. And I'll admit that she was probably right and I was probably wrong. I was wrong because we could have gotten some money for this poor fellow who'd lost his job, and probably needed the money more than his former employer did. The corporation most likely would have paid him something to make him go away - actually to make me go away. And it would have been a wise move for the corporation; it would have cost less to pay him than to pay its lawyers to defend a lawsuit. This sort of decision making has become bread-and-butter legal practice for lawyers on all sides of the issues.

But I really wonder how this situation differs from extortion, differs from the gangster telling Mom-N-Pop groceries that, for a little protection moolah, they should buy "fire insurance" from him? It would make as much sense for Mom-N-Pop to simply pay up as it would for the corporation to settle a frivolous claim cheaply. "Joe the Legbreaker" made his demand in order to line his pockets, as do we attorneys. Of course, what we do is, by definition, legal, while what the gangster does is frowned upon, and because of that we run little personal risk in making our demands. But speaking theoretically for a moment - is writing a demand letter "just to see if they'll pay something" a totally different creature from suggesting payment of protection money to avoid something undeserved-but-awful happening to your business? Of course, this doesn't apply to legitimate claims, real harm, real violations of law, real cases where writing an initial demand letter is just being polite, and one intends to go the full route if need be. We should pursue these cases vigorously. We should still be conscientious and creative, venturing into what William Schwartz, a former professor of mine at Boston University Law School, used to call "the idea frontier." Such cases don't lead to lawyer jokes. What I'm talking about are the cases brought "to see what we can get." Extortion cases.

If we are to be "counselors at law," one of my favorite letterhead phrases, shouldn't we be doing more counseling and less gunslinging? Just because our licenses and skills enable us to get money for a client - or to assist a client in avoiding paying money shouldn't we instead consider counseling the client to back off and not do what he proposes to do? There was a time not too long ago, when this country was run by lawyers: lawyers as lawyers and judges, lawyers as legislators and mayors and governors, and lawyers as business counselors, the people you went to when you had a sticky problem. Lawyers sold - or gave away - wisdom. Lawyers told business people when not to do something wrong - not how to do it and get away with it. We need to do more counseling. We need to tell the people who come to us for our wisdom not to do something that we know is wrong instead of working our hardest to help them get away with it, so long as there is some money in it for us too.

I had a client once who told me my job was to tell him just where the line was ... and then how thick it was, because he wanted to shove his toes right up to the far edge of legal behavior. We used to laugh about that. Looking back, however, what I should have done was tell him to put his shoes back on and back off from the line. Maybe he wouldn't have made that last nickel, but he wouldn't worry about whether he'd danced over the line when I wasn't looking. I should have counseled him about doing good, not advised him about how he could be as bad as he could be without getting caught.

We can be a great force for truth, justice, and honesty in society. Most of what many lawyers do is pretty noble. And while they can hate us and joke about us, society is, in fact, better off with us. People who complain the loudest about lawyers often want representation by Ghengis Khan, Esquire when they get into trouble.

The way law is practiced today contributes to much that is wrong with society. By empowering victims, primarily, we encourage a victim mentality. By creating excuses for everything we absolve people of responsibility for anything and everything. By taking money or making money to do whatever our clients ask us to do, we prostitute our professionalism.

Years ago, I received a telephone call from Igor, a Russian emigre taxi driver. Still new to this country, he had already learned about personal injury litigation. "Harvey," he said breathlessly. "got big case, worth million dollars. I was standing on curb and truck came by and almost killed me, just missed me by one inch. So, what do you think, big case?" "Igor," I replied. "almost got killed ... almost big case. Nothing happened to you." But this wasn't Igor's first foray into the tort system. He'd learned the language. Undaunted, he dropped what he thought was the big one. "Emotional distress, Harvey. I've got so much emotional distress." "Igor," I said. "if that truck had hit you, then you would have had no more emotional distress ever again. Until then, you're going to have emotional distress every day of your life. Live with it. Forget the emotional distress. Instead of suing somebody because they almost killed you, take your wife out to dinner and celebrate that you're still alive." That was the last I ever heard from Igor. I expect somebody else settled his emotional distress claim for him for some amount, a token amount, but enough for Igor to pay for dinner with his wife.

There's nothing wrong with saying no to a client. No, I won't file this suit just because it has some settlement value and you and I can make some money. No, I won't drag this plaintiff through years of humiliating discovery just to wear him out for a settlement. No, I will not help you get around this law, which protects people, but costs your business some money.

If lawyers are to regain respect, we must act more professionally. We are, after all, officers of the court, and that means something. We are given powers and abilities far beyond those of "mere mortals." With a stroke of our pens we can compel people to drop what they are doing, come to our offices, and answer endless questions. We can force people to give us their most private records. We can command deputy sheriffs to go to peoples' doors and deliver threatening documents to them, demanding a response within twenty days. Our licenses empower us to extract huge sums of money from the wealthiest corporations. The most humble of us can compel the U.S. government itself to come to court and answer our allegations.

Lawyers are made different by the power society bestows upon us. Lawyers have been given these gifts, these powers, because, historically, lawyers have been wise in their use of power. Lawyers wrote the Constitution and formed this country. Lawyers sat in Congress, made up the presidents' cabinets, advised and counseled titans of industry. Lawyers earned the authority society gave them. But the system has broken down. Those in business now view lawyers as gumming up the works instead of lubricating the gears of commerce. We are like the archetypal heroes who misuse their special powers. Some say we have succumbed to the dark side.

We can work our way out of this hole. We can begin to advise our clients that they should obey the law even when they are not likely to get caught breaking it, as silly as that may sound. We can advise people to take responsibility for harm they have brought on themselves, rather than blame everybody else for the hand that life has dealt them. If we are professionals with at least a modicum of responsibility to society, we can decline a few opportunities to make money just because they present themselves to us. Respect for the legal profession - which translates into respect for lawyers - can be restored. We can put our Humpty Dumpty back together again. But we won't do it by blaming the king's men and the king's horses. We'll do it by accepting the blame for what we've done to ourselves, acknowledging the role of conscience in our work, and changing our own behavior.

Harvey Schwartz is a Boston civil rights lawyer and a partner in the law firm of Schwartz, Shaw and Griffith. Although the subject of his article does not deal directly with the issues of addiction and recovery, it was felt that the values and opinions expressed in Mr. Schwartz's article are so closely intertwined with those that FLA members try to incorporate in their programs as recovering attorneys that publication of the above would represent a service to our readers. [Editor]

If someone else had done to me what I've been doing to myself, I would have killed them!
Anonymous

A VIEW FROM THE BENCH

This article is being written anonymously in accordance with the traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, of which the writer is a member.

I am a circuit judge and I have been on the bench for more than thirteen years, the last ten of which have been sober. I come by my alcoholism naturally. My father's father and my father were both alcoholics. All of my brothers are also alcoholics. I started drinking in high school and from the start it has always been because I liked the effect. I am an introvert and alcohol made me into an instant extravert. Although I loved the effect, I loathed the hangovers I always got the next day when I drank to excess. I was lucky during my drinking years in that I never got a D.U.I., arrested, or in any real trouble.

After I graduated from law school, I spent time as an assistant state attorney before going into private practice. As the years passed, I began to rely more and more on alcohol. I would not attend social functions unless there was alcohol. I also always needed a few drinks to take the edge off before leaving the house for the function. Every working day at 5:00 p.m. I would send my secretary down the street for a six pack of beer and by the time I arrived home, I was ready to get into the vodka and tonic. The weekends were made for drinking because I could nurse my Saturday and Sunday morning hangovers with beer. Alcohol was my hobby and I did not enjoy doing anything in my free time without it.

A judgeship came up for election and I talked about running for it with my partner who felt I had a good chance to win if I would lay off the booze during the race. I took his advice and not only decided to quit, but vowed to never drink again. I was also trying to prove to myself that I was not an alcoholic and that life could be lived without alcohol. It worked and I easily won the election. On election night, as I listened to the returns on the radio along with my supporters, I felt I deserved to celebrate. One drink was too many, but not enough. I drank myself into a blackout. A blackout is not a pass out. It is the experience where your brain goes on vacation only to return the next day to learn of all the crazy things your body did the night before in its absence. I remember having one of the worst hangovers I had ever had that next morning, when awakened by a call from the chief judge congratulating me on my stunning victory. I also remember thinking I would never get drunk again. I had given up alcohol before and I could do it again. This time I was swearing off for good. And I meant it! I have always had a lot of will power and could do anything I put my mind to; I was putting my mind to it this time.

A few months later, I was off to my first judge's conference with a fellow judge. When we arrived we had lunch with some of our other colleagues. Everyone was having a beer with lunch. Not to feel out of place, I had one too. Again one was too many, but not enough. That one beer took me right back to where I had left off with my last drunk. I do not remember very much of that conference, other then spending it hung over with a lot of guilt for once again drinking.

Now that I realized I was not going to give up alcohol I had to have rules about my drinking, because I was now a judge. That meant I could never drink and drive, so when I would go out and drink, someone else had to drive. It also meant that I could not go to bars, because someone might see me drinking in a public place. The solution was to drink at home and never start drinking before arriving home from work. Also, I would limit the amount I drank on week nights to avoid hangovers. This was controlled drinking. There were, however, exceptions and there were a few days I administered justice with a hangover.

My younger brother was having his own alcohol problems about this time and he went into inpatient treatment. As a result of my brother's treatment, my father decided it was time for him to go into treatment also. My father pointed out to me that I too may have a problem. Being a judge, who likes to control everything, I agreed I might have a problem, but I had it under control. After all I was now a controlled drinker. He gave me a copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book and suggested that I read it. If I did not read it for myself, I may want to read it as a judge to obtain knowledge of this organization that judges liked to send drunks to. It sat on my bookshelf for over a year. My last drunk was at a social function more than ten years ago. Again, one was too many, but not enough. The hangover was predictable along with the blackout. The next day my best friend since childhood, who had never questioned my drinking before, told me I had a problem. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Just learning what I had said and done the night before suggested I really did have a problem. I again swore off booze forever and this time I did something different. I picked up the copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book that had sat on my book shelf for over a year collecting dust. I read it from cover to cover. Somewhere in that book I read my story. That book motivated me to want to experience a few of those A.A. meetings. The problem was that I was a judge and there was no way I could go to the meetings I was sending drunks to.

My solution was to go to a few meetings as a judge, who was there only to observe what this A.A. program was about. I did not go as a recovering alcoholic because no one could know this judge was an alcoholic. I later learned I was on a dry drunk. The only thing I had done was to take the alcohol out of my life and I was failing to put something back in its place. That something an alcoholic needs, I later learned, was the A.A. program. I was, however, saving the world by sending every drunk that appeared in front of me to those A.A. meetings.

One day I got a phone call from an attorney friend who was again having a problem with his alcoholism. He talked to me about again going into an inpatient treatment facility. Being the expert I was, I told him he did not need to repeat treatment, but that he needed to go to A.A. Treatment had previously already taught him everything he needed to know about his problem. He just needed to go to A.A. meetings and apply what they had taught him. He agreed and asked me to take him to a meeting that very night. I made up some excuse, because I was not going to A.A. meetings and I certainly did not want him to know that. So I called my father, who picked him up and took him to his first AA meeting. Well this attorney really got into this A.A. stuff and started going to a lot of meetings. In fact he did over ninety meetings in ninety days. This lawyer made me feel like a hypocrite. Although I was sober, I did not have what he had because I was still on my dry drunk. I had just been reelected. without opposition, so I decided I did not have to worry about my public image. I could risk going to a few of the same meetings he was going to. I wanted the kind of sobriety he had found. Those few meetings turned into many and then I started going to A.A. meetings because I truly wanted to. They were changing my life. They put back into my life what alcohol had taken out.

Since that attorney's phone call, I have been able to help other judges and attorneys that needed help. I was able to help one judge by simply giving him a copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. I was asked by Florida Lawyers Assistance to help another judge with an intervention. It was not successful. I at least got the judge to take a copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. Maybe someday he will hit bottom, as I did, after being sick and tired of being sick and tired. That attorney and I started a Florida Lawyers Assistance group for recovering alcoholic attorneys. We meet every week for our Lawyers' A.A. group. I act as a monitor for two recovering attorneys going through the Florida Lawyers Assistance program. When I got sober, I did not even know there was such an organization as Florida Lawyers Assistance. Had I known, I am sure I would not have stayed on that dry drunk as long as I did.

I believe the alcoholic lawyer should be treated the same as the non-alcoholic lawyer. He or she should not be reported to the bar just because they are an alcoholic. The rule regulating professional misconduct deals with reporting behavior that raises a substantial question of incompetence or inability to practice. If a lawyer does something that is a violation, then the duty is to report. In the thirteen years I have been a judge, I have only had to perform this unpleasant task once. I do believe that a fellow lawyer or judge who suspects that a lawyer has a problem has a moral duty to at least talk to the individual. If they do not have the expertise to handle the task of talking to the alcoholic, he or she can find help by simply calling the Florida Lawyers Assistance hotline. (800-282-8981). FLA will then contact the individual by sending him or her a letter advising them of the services available if the individual wants help. Sixty percent of the cases FLA handles are voluntary cases in which there is no bar involvement. I talked to a lawyer once who I suspected had a drug problem that caused him to routinely show up late for court, especially on Monday mornings. Having no real proof other than hearsay, I advised him of the services available through FLA. I told him I did not know if what I had heard was true, but if he had a drug problem help was available. He did not take the advice. His luck ran out when he was arrested later for his drug use. He did it the hard way by doing jail time and losing his license to practice. He is now getting help through FLA, and there is hope he may practice again.

If we, as attorneys and judges, do not get help for the alcoholic attorney, the problem will not go away. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that only gets worst if untreated. I have lived this first hand by swearing off drinking only to drink again and going right back to where I left off the last time I drank. Many of us do not want to get involved. To not get involved is to enable the alcoholic to continue in his disease.

Help is available if vou want it. It can be as simple as calling A.A. or the FLA hotline. I can tell you that since I became a recovering alcoholic, my worst day sober has been better then my best day drunk.

An Anonymous Judge

Put a jackass in a crate in Boston and ship it to Los Angeles, open the crate and you still have a jackass--no matter where you go, there you are.
Anonymous

Orlando: The Orlando group, which meets on Thursdays at 5:45 pm, is going strong. The group averages about 15 attendees, all of whom are dedicated to supporting each other and newcomers to the group. The group held its annual Christmas dinner on December 4th in Winter Park, where Barbara W. celebrated her 2 year anniversary and Michael C. was the guest speaker - a good time was had by all (as usual). Also, this year represented a "first" (at least in everyones' memory) - one of the members who had been admitted to the Bar was sworn in by a judge at the meeting.

Ft. Lauderdale: The Ft. Lauderdale meeting, which meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30 pm, has had some phenomenal growth over the past year. The Tuesday meeting has grown to about 25 regular attendees ranging from over 20 years sobriety to newcomer attorneys and law students. The Thursday meeting, which is a Big Book and Step study group, is smaller, but just as dedicated.

Miami: The Monday night meeting (5:30 pm) is regularly attended by 20 to 25 attorneys, law students, and judges, and is sometimes standing room only. The group members recently voted to modify the format somewhat in order to make the group more interactive and asked Richard M. to act as the group's informal facilitator, which Richard agreed to do. The meeting may be in for some other changes due to the retirement at the end of 1997 of Vic T., in whose conference room the meeting has been held for over 9 years! We'll have to see if part of Vic's retirement package includes reserving the space from 5:30 to 6:30 on Mondays in perpetuity.

The Tuesday meeting (8:30 pm) is going through a transition stage, after its facilitator, Dr. John Eustace, had to give up the position to pursue other ventures. The group's core, which is composed of about 10 doctors, lawyers, and other profesionals continues to meet.

The Thursday meeting (5:30 pm), facilitated by Dr. Jules Trop, continues to maintain its core group of about 10 to 15 doctors, lawyers, and other professionals. Dr. Trop, who has been facilitating the group in one form or another for over 11 years, continues to be a source of experience, strength and hope for group members.

West Palm Beach: The West Palm meeting is going strong, with 15 to 20 regular attendees, all of whom are very supportive to each other (but just how big a motivation are the Oreos?). This past year, the group has been pleased to see a number of its members admitted to the Bar, conditionally and unconditionally, and reinstated after periods of suspension.

Lakeland: The weekly meeting (Wednesdays at 6:00 pm) is small, but very solid, and reports that all is going well.

Gainesville: The Gainesville meeting (every other Tuesday at 7:00 pm) has just relocated to the home of Tom N., one of its original co-founders. The group had been meeting at the UF law school during the summer, but once the fall semester began, a number of instances arose where a non-member would come to the group and ask what was going on, to which someone in the group would inevitably say "we're a study group", followed by awkward attempts to get the person to go away. The group then tried using the local AA clubhouse, but there was too much competition for the meeting space, so it looks like Tom's house will be the meeting location until something more suitable comes along. The meeting has lately been attended by two law school students and two local attorneys, but now that school is back in session and a regular meeting place has been established, the group intends to post flyers at the law school. In addition, an article has been prepared for the law school newspaper, which should be published in the spring semester issue.

Clearwater: The Esquires Group reports it retains a consistent core with newcomers welcome if they have a desire to stop drinking.

There is a principle which is a bar against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a person in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation.
Herbert Spencer